Don’t let the sorrow woman entangle you
Has there ever been a situation like this in your life: chatteringly rejecting others is not good here, not good there, it seems like everyone around you is sorry for you, and you have rarely said thank you in your mouth, and rarely come from yourselfDepending on the reason, then you have to be careful.
Case 1: The full-time wife lost her “self” Wang Fang was a beautiful, elegant woman, but now she has a dull face and a sad expression.
She and her husband have been married for 5 years, and they have a cute, smart son.
But to her, the current marriage was like an unfortunate dream.
Three years ago, after Wang Fang gave birth to her son, her successful husband suggested that she quit her job in order to make her better at home with her husband.
At the time, she was a bit unhappy, but when she thought of the tremendous pressure of work and life, she felt tired and went home as a full-time wife.
Since then, her life has been drowned in vinegar, but instead of thanking her, her husband has continued to ridicule and degrade her when she was depressed.
She was like a trapped beast in a cage, becoming depressed, worried, and often arguing with her husband. Now her marriage is on the verge of collapse.
Reason: I found that I have made more friends. Peng Yi, a psychological counselor of Zhengzhou Foster Consulting Co., said that, like Wang Fang, many women give up their self as soon as they get married, and put all of them at home, husband, and children.Fulfilling one’s own wishes, but such a foundationless wish is difficult to achieve by itself, so women’s grievances, loss, pain, and frustration arise.
To overcome such difficulties, women must find themselves and reposition themselves.
Women’s world does not increase the family, but also has its own career and pursuit.
When she works, she can create value, be needed by society and realize her dreams, and have an independent personality and self-confidence.
Of course, women also need to have their own friends, hobbies and independent space, which is also a very important self-help ability.
Many women completely sacrifice themselves to help their husbands realize their dreams.
Lin Xiaofeng in “Chinese-style Divorce” is one such representative.
When she sacrificed herself but didn’t get what she wanted, the huge loss and pain can be imagined.
In marriage, the relationship between husband and wife should be two trees, not a tree and a vine. If you are willing to turn yourself into a twined tree vine, then you also lose the basis for achieving your dreams.
Therefore, the safest and most reliable thing is to realize your dream of life yourself.
Case 2: She wanted to “reshape” her 36-year-old Li Li for 10 years. She was very capable at work, but the marriage was a complete failure. She and her husband lived together only because of their children.
When marrying her husband, although he was not as good as himself everywhere, she felt that he loved herself and would definitely change for her, so she married him despite the opposition of her family.
After marriage, she kept asking her husband to change. At first, her husband obeyed her, but after a long time, the two kept arguing. Later, they became tired and had a cold war, and there was less and less communication.
Sometimes Li Li really wanted to have a big fight, but when she saw her husband’s cold appearance, she couldn’t argue.
So, she vented her resentment to others, held her face to everyone, and refused others.
Reason: To love him is to accept that the two people in his marriage are always different because they come from different families and have different growth experiences.
Some women take it for granted that they can change each other after marriage. If they are unsuccessful, they feel that their husbands don’t care about themselves and have a great sense of frustration.
In fact, for the inconsistency between the two parties, the first thing the two people should do is to accept unconditionally instead of forcibly changing, and then gradually adjust and run in accordance with the differences between the two sides, and finally reach a sense of understanding.
Peng Yi said that women must learn to adjust themselves if they want to be relieved from pain.
First of all, to have a tolerant and peaceful mindset, everyone will have their own thoughts, space and privacy, and you must think of those things that belong to him.
However, this kind of tolerance is not accommodation or another kind of wisdom for managing marriage, giving others a quiet world, but also giving yourself a relaxed mood.
Essentially, we must learn to think differently and understand each other.
Blind suffocation will intensify the conflict and hurt each other.
Finally, we must learn humor, change the way we speak, and try to turn the words of refusal to prepare into humorous words that are easy for the other party to express, so as to resolve the cold violence between husband and wife.
Case 3: She thinks that Zhao Jing has been doing well since she graduated from junior college to work. She thinks that she is a bit better than other colleagues.
However, once she submitted a manuscript to the newspaper, she was returned.
She felt that the newspaper was unfair and turned around to her colleagues.
Soon, the unit conducted a title evaluation. Because she had not published a thesis and had no research results, she was defeated in the evaluation. However, she did not think about these problems, but resent the injustice of her superiors and her colleagues were too bad.
After sorry for her colleague, she started to talk about her husband’s inability, and the child dragged her hind legs.
Now, she was full of complaints when she saw anyone, making people scared and bored at first sight. Prevention: Look at the strengths of others. Zhao Jing’s psychological subtext is: It’s not my fault, it’s unfair.
Wang Zhiming, deputy chief physician of the Department of Psychology of Zheng Dayi Affiliated Hospital, analyzed that people who like to stare at unfair people often overestimate their level and pay.
She may have done a good job, but others may not be inferior.
If you only look at your own efforts and ignore the strengths of others, then no matter how the unit and colleagues treat themselves, they will not feel good enough and unfair.
If you want to avoid grievances and hurt yourself, you must change your mindset.
You have to realize that some injustices in society exist objectively, and everything should be viewed more positively.
With someone else, it is better to improve your deficiencies and bring yourself closer to your goal.
If you see more of the strengths and efforts of others, and realize how others help you, your mentality will be calm.